Best jokes ever

Have you ever seen a black person on the Jetsons? NO. Looks like a good future doesn’t it?
Vote:
has 57.33 % from 310 votes. More jokes about: black people
Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
Vote:
has 57.30 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is. "Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!" The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into bed with his wife, he took out his penis and whacked it three times on the bedpost. His wife, half-asleep, said, "Bubba? Is that you?"
Vote:
has 57.29 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: husband, kids, marriage, sex
A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump. The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base. Move out!" As scared as they are, they all make it out the door. The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing. He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle. He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand. Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"
Vote:
has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Chuck Norris is ambidextrous. He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg. All at the same time.
Vote:
has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
Vote:
has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck. The father says "okay, you know what to do." Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick." The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
Vote:
has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting, family, redneck, sex
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop. The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed. They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move. He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse. So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move. He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"
Vote:
has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, horse, men, technology
Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
Vote:
has 57.26 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: airplane, baby, black humor
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
Vote:
has 57.26 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, marriage
<<<680681682683
More jokes →
Page 680 of 1429.