Best jokes ever

There was a boy watching tv with his parents. A sex scene comes on. The boy asks what the people are doing. The mom said "they were just making a cake." The boy goes"oh yea, I saw u and daddy making a cake yesterday and I Licked up all the icing."
Vote:
has 57.49 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Vote:
has 57.49 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: fart, men, women
Comebacks to that all time favorite question "Why Aren't You Married Yet?" 1. You haven't asked yet. 2. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life. 3. Because I just love hearing this question. 4. Just lucky, I guess. 5. It gives my mother something to live for. 6. My fiancé is awaiting his/her parole. 7. I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America. 8. Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon? 9. I'm waiting until I get to be your age. 10. It didn't seem worth a blood test. 11. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you. 12. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating. 13. My co-op board doesn't allow spouses. 14. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund. 15. They just opened a great singles bar on my block. 16. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness. 17. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals. 18. What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads? 19. I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck. 20. Why aren't you thin? 21. I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation. 22. (Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
Vote:
has 57.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
Vote:
has 57.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
Vote:
has 57.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
What do a tornado and a black person have in common? It only takes one to ruin a good neighborhood.
Vote:
has 57.43 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: racist
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college. Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. Peter: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
Vote:
has 57.40 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: age, college, school
Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’ Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’
Vote:
has 57.40 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
Vote:
has 57.40 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible, fish
At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and requested a vehicle pass. The young airman, fresh out of technical training, asked to see his military ID, driver's license and his vehicle registration. Noticing the letters BG on the man's identification, the new airman asked, "What's BG stand for - Big Guy?" "No," the man replied, leaning over the counter. "Try Brigadier General."
Vote:
has 57.40 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: air force, office, stupid
<<<680681682683
More jokes →
Page 680 of 1431.