Yo mama so ugly that she saw herself six ways in the mirror!
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
Claws.
A man works in the operations department of a large bank.
Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers.
One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
Yo mama is so poor that she has to take the trash IN.
Q: What's brown and white and flies all over?
A: Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chainsaw!
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A kid asks his father:
Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed?
Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team?
A: The New York Jets.
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Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
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How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong.
Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy."
"Like what?" asked Fozzie.
"Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't."
Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that?
You're not a prude or anything."
"No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."