Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole? A: You swerve around the pothole.
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, “It really works!”
Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade. Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow? A: Moo.
Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable? A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.
Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.