Yo Momma has so many chins, it looks like she's wearing a fat necklace!
Yo mama so ugly Lady Liberty blew her torch out so she wouldn't have to see her.
Why don't lobsters share?
They re shellfish.
Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips.
After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft".
So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft"
Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"?
To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent"
Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf.
Vote:
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Client to designer: "It doesn't really look purple. It looks more like a mixture of red and blue."
Vote:
"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't."
"How do you know he isn t?"
"Because I am."
Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole?
A: You swerve around the pothole.
Vote:
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.