According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide?
He didn't even leave a note.
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
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Yo mama so ugly Lady Liberty blew her torch out so she wouldn't have to see her.
The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.
Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips.
After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft".
So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft"
Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"?
To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent"
Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis?
A:Telling your parents that your gay!
Yo mama so fat when she looks in the mirror the mirror said: "oh no get out the way."
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat.
The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo.
The man agrees and drives off.
The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again.
He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo."
The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."
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