According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
Yo mama is so fat, it says to be continued, when she gets on a weighing-machine.
Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge? A: In case she wanted black coffee.
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips. After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft". So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft" Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"? To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent"
Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf.