Why is it that when a man talks nasty to a women it’s sexual harassment, but when a women talks nasty to a man it’s £3.99 a minute?
‘If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They’re trained for that.’
Yo momma’s so fat, her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.
Yo momma’s so fat, when she auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones she got the part of the big rolling ball.
Yo momma’s so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
Sign seen in a bar:
"Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under?
A. Because deep down he's a good person.
Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.