Best jokes ever

Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying. "Why are you crying?" asked the other child. "I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger." When he heard this, the other child started to cry. "Why are you crying?" "I’m here for a urine test."
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More jokes about: doctor, kids
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dinosaur, kids
Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He decided to stick it out for one more year!
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More jokes about: old people
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
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More jokes about: animal
A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a shotgun and fires a shot, barely missing the man's head. The man gets up, says thank you, and leaves a tip. Why the tip and thank you, "because the man had the hiccups."
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender
Little Johnny asks his mum, "Mum, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time in a faraway land'?"  "No darling," says his mother, somewhat distressed, "Sometimes, they can begin with 'I've got too much work in the office tonight, I'll come home later'."
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More jokes about: little Johnny, work
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
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More jokes about: racist
Yo Mama is so nasty, she made the Dead Sea, when went to swim.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a Nintendo GameCube and turned it into a Gameboy.
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More jokes about: fat, game, Yo mama