What are the most athletic rodents?
Track and field mice.
There were three guys manhers, shaup and shed.
They went for a drive, shed wanted to go to the store to pick up snacks for the ride.
So shed went in the store.
Twenty minutes passes they were getting impatient so manhers went in what's taking him so long.
Minutes later a police officer went to him and asked his name he replied "shaup!"
Police officer was startled what he said.
Police said "where's your manners boy!".
Shaup replied to the officer "he's inside picking up shed*
A wife to her husband:
"Honey, what are you doing?"
"I'm reading our marriage certificate."
"What for?"
"I'm looking for the expiry date..."
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?
A Moles Royce.
What do cows get when they do all their chores?
Mooney.
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Yo mama's so fat when people look at her they instantly got cancer and type two diabetes
Vote:
What animals do you bring to bed?
Your calves.
A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; "My sweety, remind me please.. What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off...?"
"Alzheimer, granny!"
Vote:
How are skunks able to avoid danger?
By using their instinks and common scents.