What animals do you bring to bed? Your calves.
Q: What is height of Honesty? A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’ Boy: ‘I’m not. I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
Which rabbit is a famous comedian? Bob Hop.
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
A length of rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says "get out, we don't serve ropes in here!" The rope goes outside and cuts himself in half and ties his two sections together. Not pleased with his appearance, he takes a comb and combs out his ends. He walks back into the bar and the bartender says "hey, aren't you that rope I just kicked out?" And the rope replied "no, I'm a frayed knot."
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.