Best jokes ever

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
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More jokes about: sport
Windows, the world's first commercially successful virus!
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More jokes about: computer, IT
A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
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More jokes about: cop, hunting
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !
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More jokes about: age, alcohol, drug, women
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
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More jokes about: black humor, morbid, tax
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women? Bingo!
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More jokes about: dirty
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
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More jokes about: health, little Johnny, school
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship? A. A second date.
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More jokes about: men
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab? A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
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More jokes about: sex
Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic? Cause asshole is always in front of you.
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More jokes about: dirty