A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
Windows, the world's first commercially successful virus!
A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women? Bingo!
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship? A. A second date.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab? A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic? Cause asshole is always in front of you.