Yo Mama so old... When she ran the 100 meter dash, they timed yo mama with a sundial.
Q: Why do pandas like old movies? A: Because they are black and white.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her mouth is like an Almond Joy bar full of nuts.
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
There were three guys manhers, shaup and shed. They went for a drive, shed wanted to go to the store to pick up snacks for the ride. So shed went in the store. Twenty minutes passes they were getting impatient so manhers went in what's taking him so long. Minutes later a police officer went to him and asked his name he replied "shaup!" Police officer was startled what he said. Police said "where's your manners boy!". Shaup replied to the officer "he's inside picking up shed*
A wife to her husband: "Honey, what are you doing?" "I'm reading our marriage certificate." "What for?" "I'm looking for the expiry date..."
Why are rabbits never gold? How would you tell them apart from goldfish?
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Yo mama is so poor, I went to her place for dinner the other day, and when I asked what we were having, she put her foot up on the table and said "corn !".
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.