What book did the rabbit take on vacation? One with a hoppy ending.
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish.
Yo' Mama is so fat, I had to dip her in flour to find her wet patch.
Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
During her company's periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password: GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinniePhoenix When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said, "The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."
If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos.
Patient: "Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?" Dentist: "Wear a brown tie..."