Yo momma's so fat...
They mistake her for a country.
Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous?"
The other replied, "You're darn right we are! We're rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?"
To which the first replied, "Because I just bit my tongue"
Q: What did the blonde do when she couldn't afford a personalized license plate?
A: She changed her name to JKM345.
Women are Angels.
And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...
On a broomstick.
We're flexible like that.
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
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Yo mamma so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass.
What do you call an incestuous nephew?
An aunt-eater.
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What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus?
A dead wringer.
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