How can you tell she's a macho women? She rolls her own tampons.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''
What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield? His Butt!
Bob asks his grandmother: "Granny, tell us, how my sister and me came to life?" "Your sister, Bob, came from heaven and a stork has brought you to us." Bob then, turns to his sister and whispers: "Should we tell her the truth, or should we let her die without knowing…"
“How can I ever thank you?” gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles. “My dear woman,” Darrow replied, “ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question.”
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town; "Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father. "How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs? A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
A blonde was walking down the street with shower caps on her breasts. A guy asked her, "Hey, what's with the shower caps?" "Shower caps?" she responded, "These are booby condoms!"
An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?" And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?" And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"
Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles? Because it ends up behind her ears anyway!