Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist? A: Cool music!
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons. None of it is his own.
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
Q: What do lipstick and mascara do when they get in a fight? A: They make up.
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."
Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job? A: Bob.
Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? A: They both wipe out klingons.
Your mama so fat she climbed up hill and fell back down.