Question: Why does Tigger smell? Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!
Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't wait to get their hands her a sunken chest.
Yo mama is so dark that that she can leave fingerprints on carbon.
Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous?" The other replied, "You're darn right we are! We're rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?" To which the first replied, "Because I just bit my tongue"
Yo momma's so fat... They mistake her for a country.
Teacher: "What is seven Q plus three Q?" Student: " Ten Q"Teacher: "You're Welcome."
What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus? A dead wringer.
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
My New Years resolution is 1080p.
An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"