Q: What are the hottest days during summer? A: Sun-days
Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love.
How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents.
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away.
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; "My sweety, remind me please.. What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off...?" "Alzheimer, granny!"
Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead? A: Depth perception.
Why are rabbits never gold? How would you tell them apart from goldfish?