A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"
Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the
whole chicken.
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple in their bedroom.
The husband turned to his wife and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen action in years. If he wants sex, I think it's best to just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it."
"I'm so relieved you feel that way," replies his wife, "because he told me he thinks you're really cute."
Your moms like a christmass tree all the guys put there balls on her.
Yo mama so short when she smokes weed, she cant even get high.
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!"
The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me.
So I put my hand around my kid and told him
"Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was.
One day she argued with a lion.
The next day was the first of June.
Why?
Because that was the end of May!