Why do men like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love.
Two skunks were being chased by a bear.
As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?"
"Let us spray!" replied the other.
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Yo mama's so fat when people look at her they instantly got cancer and type two diabetes
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.
A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; "My sweety, remind me please.. What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off...?"
"Alzheimer, granny!"
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What are the most athletic rodents?
Track and field mice.
What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away.
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train?
When it's on the train.