Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love.
What animals do you bring to bed? Your calves.
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her mouth is like an Almond Joy bar full of nuts.
What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away.
What does a squid sheriff form? An octoposse.
A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; "My sweety, remind me please.. What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off...?" "Alzheimer, granny!"
What book did the rabbit take on vacation? One with a hoppy ending.
What do you call an affectionate rabbit? A tender, loving hare.