Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher said, it was a peace of cake.
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died?
A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common?
A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Teacher: "What does a duck say?"
Jenny: "Quack Quack"
Teacher: "What does a cow say?"
Madison: "Moo"
Teacher: "What does a pig say?"
Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
Vote:
Joke has 56.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard.
"Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked.
"Can you describe it?" I asked.
"Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."
Vote:
Joke has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, geography, stupid, weather
Two Muffins were baking in an oven.
One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"
Vote:
A professor and a doctor both love the same girl.
Each one tries to get rid of the other.
Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week.
Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there.
When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
Vote:
How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th?
Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work.
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."