‘A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.’ Bob Hope
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."
What is the noisiest game? Squash – because you can’t play it without raising a racquet!
I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby? Threesomes.
-How is Ruth? -Not sure. I broke up with her last month. -Oh no. You're so Ruthless. -And how long have you been waiting to use that? -I'd rather not say.
Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
Your mother is so fat, that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck!
Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? A: They both wipe out klingons.