Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog. The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want." The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you." He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened. And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."
Yo Mama so old... She sat in front of Jesus in 1st grade.
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
Trick me once, shame on you, trick Chuck Norris... rest in peace.
Los Angeles Homeless... Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."
"Why are you studying your Easter candy?" "I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies? A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam... In the Sahara Desert.