Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common? A: You push them both aside when you eat.
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.
A lady went to see a tarot reader woman who'll predict her future: Lady, I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future. Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!
What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby? Threesomes.
-How is Ruth? -Not sure. I broke up with her last month. -Oh no. You're so Ruthless. -And how long have you been waiting to use that? -I'd rather not say.
Yo mama so fat her chairs are buildings.
Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? A: They both wipe out klingons.
Your mother is so fat, that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck!
How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!