Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac? A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack.
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can. The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third fucking rooster I bought this month." Moral of this story? Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
Q: Does your mum like shopping on the Internet? A: No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.
A patient at the dental office where I work stopped by my desk to pay her bill. She began rummaging through her purse, as so many patients do when they have a check to write. "Do you need a pen?" I asked, offering her mine. "Yes, thank you," she replied. She took it, put it in her handbag, and proceeded to pay in cash.
Joke has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about:
Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve? A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
Yo momma so fat, when shes falling out the sky, people thought it was meteor shower.
Two gays were at a dance. As they were jigging about the floor with each other. Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?" "No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!