Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
Yo mama so fat when they took pictures of Earth it looked like Earth had a pimple.
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Yo Momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!
What do you call ten million black people jumping out of a plane? Night time.