Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
You mama is so fat, when she lies on the beach Greenpeace try to push her back in the water.
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, you need to put your head up her ass to get her perspective.
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Chuck Norris caught all the 493 Pokemon... With the Yellow version.
What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.