Best jokes ever

A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weather
Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? A: They both wipe out klingons.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
Your mother is so fat, that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
There was a boy watching tv with his parents. A sex scene comes on. The boy asks what the people are doing. The mom said "they were just making a cake." The boy goes"oh yea, I saw u and daddy making a cake yesterday and I Licked up all the icing."
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has 56.76 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
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has 56.75 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.
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has 56.68 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: car, gay, life, masturbation
I never drink water… fish f**k in it.
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has 56.68 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
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has 56.66 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
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