Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A: A firequaker!
An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it.
Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I'll grant you three wishes, Master."
The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you."
The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him.
The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this."
The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies.
"What about your third wish?" asks the genie.
"Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars."
The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens.
"What's wrong?" asks the atheist.
The genie shrugs and says, "Just because you believe in me, doesn't necessarily mean that I really exist."
Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender?
A: I don't know, I just like to hear them scream.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Chips.
Vote:
Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
Vote:
Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
Vote:
What did Zimbabweans have before candles?
Electricity.
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty.
She's not wearing any clothes.
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
Zero.
Q: Why do Soviet soldiers always miss?
A: They have terrible Marxmanship.
Vote:
What concert costs only 45 cents?
50cent featuring Nickelback.