Yo mama so loose...when she walks down the street her pussy claps!
A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher.
She asks the teacher for a glass of cider.
"Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks.
"To take away the pain," sobs the little girl.
"What do you mean?" the teacher asks.
"Well," sobs the little girl.
"I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father.
"Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!"
"I did?
What did I tell you?" said the dad.
"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."
"What are you talking about?
That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said.
"there must be some mistake."
"I don't think so," she sniffed.
"They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll.
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ...
20 years old and mixed up with coke !
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house.
He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
Vote:
Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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