The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
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Q: What is fast and crunchy?
A: A rocket chip.
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What's the favourite flavour of sharks?
Shark-o-late.
Your mama so fat she climbed up hill and fell back down.
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win?
A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
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When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
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Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common?
A: They both wipe out klingons.
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.
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Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.