The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
Q: What is fast and crunchy? A: A rocket chip.
What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.
Your mama so fat she climbed up hill and fell back down.
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons. None of it is his own.
Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? A: They both wipe out klingons.
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond.