A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream.
They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?"
So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned.
"I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts."
And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
Vote:
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win?
A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common?
A: They both wipe out klingons.
Your mother is so fat, that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck!
There was a boy watching tv with his parents.
A sex scene comes on.
The boy asks what the people are doing.
The mom said "they were just making a cake."
The boy goes"oh yea, I saw u and daddy making a cake yesterday and I Licked up all the icing."
Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
Vote:
What do you call a truck full of dildos?
Toys for Twats.
Vote:
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".