Best jokes ever

Yo mama so fat when she looks in the mirror the mirror said: "oh no get out the way."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Why can't girls play hockey? Because their pads can't last three periods.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sport
Genuine advert. In New York Newspaper Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannia. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f**king everything.
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has 55.69 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, wife
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
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has 55.69 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: animal, little Johnny
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
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has 55.65 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: kids, women
A hunter was out with his dog Old Faithful when he sees a duck and shoots it down. Old Faithful runs and brings his back the duck. As the hunter reaches for the duck a forest ranger comes by snatches the duck out of Old Faithfuls mouth puts his finger in its ass pulls it out smells his finger and says "This here is a Wisconsin duck, do you have a license to shoot Wisconsin ducks?" The hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for a Wisconsin duck. The officer says "thank you, sir, have a great day and leaves." The hunter then proceeds with Old Faithful when he sees another duck, takes as I'm and shoots it down. Old Faithful runs grab the duck and come back. The hunters about to grab the duck when the same forest ranger comes back, grabs the duck out of the dog's mouth take his finger puts it up the ducks ass, pulls it out smells his finger and says "This is an Ohio duck, have you got a license to shoot Ohio ducks, sir?" The hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for an Ohio duck. The officer looks at him and says, "I'm sorry sir, just doing my job, have a nice day," and leaves. Well, this kept happening over and over. Every time the hunter shot a duck and Old Faithful would bring it back, the Same forest ranger would be there to question the hunter if he had a license for all the different ducks he shot, and in his bewilderment seeing the hunter having all these different licenses for each duck. Well on the last duck the hunter shot and Old Faithful bringing it back, the Same forest ranger comes and triumphantly snatches the duck out of the dogs mouth, takes his finger puts it up the ducks ass, smells it and says "This here is a Canadian duck, have you got a license to shoot Canadian duck?" Exasperated, the hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for a Canadian duck. The forest ranger looks at the hunter and says, "you know sir, you've had a license for every duck you shot, tell me, where are You from?" The hunter turns around, drops his pants, bends over and says, "You tell me! You're the Expert!"
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has 55.64 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, dirty, dog, hunting
My wife beamed at me with pride and said, "Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!" I said, "This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter."
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has 55.64 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, wife
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school? A: The "elf"-abet!
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has 55.64 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: elf, school
Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.
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has 55.64 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: dirty, music
A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. "I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team," "That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team." "That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."
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has 55.62 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: catholic, family, marriage, sport, wife
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