Blonde cop pulls over blonde motorist. Cop asks the motorist to see her license so the blonde searches in her purse & tells the blonde cop that she must have forgot it at home. The blonde cop asks the blonde motorist does she have any other type of identification so she searches in her purse again, looks at a pocket mirror & says, "I have a picture of myself." The cop asks to see it so the blonde motorist hands over the pocket mirror. The blonde cop looks at it & says, "Well if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over."
What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.
Yo mamma so stupid she brought a spoon to a super bowl and the fat one brought a bowl.
Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays. Happy Chuckday everyone!
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? A: They both wipe out klingons.
Your mother is so fat, that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck!
Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.