Best jokes ever

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For One 1 16oz can of Miller Lite The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?" The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?" He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, women
Go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Yours sincerely,  The CAT
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, weather
Q: What do you call a group of black people. A: An auction.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 230 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
Vote: has 61.23 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: knock-knock, life
"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
Vote: has 61.19 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, wife
Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
Vote: has 61.15 % from 143 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish
Wanna know Victoria's Secret? She has a penis.
Vote: has 61.06 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, dirty
At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and requested a vehicle pass. The young airman, fresh out of technical training, asked to see his military ID, driver's license and his vehicle registration. Noticing the letters BG on the man's identification, the new airman asked, "What's BG stand for - Big Guy?" "No," the man replied, leaning over the counter. "Try Brigadier General."
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: air force, office, stupid
People say that time heals all wounds. They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, health, time
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, flirt, IT, phone, technology