What's a difference between a blond and a mosquito?
once you smack a mosquito it stops sucking
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they?
A: His left hand and his right hand.
Vote:
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk!
Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´
A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
Son: "What's love juice daddy?"
Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?"
Son: "Wimbledon."
Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!
DEPT OF STATISTICS:
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in.
The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
DEPT OF HISTORY:
All students get the same grade they got last year.
DEPT OF RELIGION:
Grade is determined by God.
DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY:
What is a grade?
LAW SCHOOL:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:
Grades are variable.
DEPT OF LOGIC:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE:
Random number generator determines grade.
MUSIC DEPARTMENT:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively).
DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION:
Everybody gets an A.
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
Vote:
Chuck norris was born on May 6 1945.
De Nazi surrenderd on May 7 1945.
Vote:
It’s the morning after the honeymoon.
The wife says, ‘You know, you’re a really lousy lover.’
The husband replies, ‘How can you possible tell that after only 30 seconds.’