Best jokes ever

Yo mama's so fat, when someone drove by her they said "Wow, whales can walk!"
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about:
My mother-in- law is so cross-eyed, that when she cries the tears roll down her back!
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: insulting, mother in law
Let's walk and talk. You go that way.
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, travel
Do you believe in love at first set? Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: fitness, flirt, love
The husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet the wife stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came back to his senses, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now. ....I think you bring me bad luck!"
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has 56.31 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: business, health, husband, marriage, wife
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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has 56.30 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
What kind of food do maths teachers eat? Square meals!
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has 56.27 % from 348 votes. More jokes about: school
Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."
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has 56.26 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
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has 56.24 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, phone, school, teacher
An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I'll grant you three wishes, Master." The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you." The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this." The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. "What about your third wish?" asks the genie. "Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars." The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. "What's wrong?" asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, "Just because you believe in me, doesn't necessarily mean that I really exist."
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has 56.23 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: atheist, genie, money
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