Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
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Chuck norris was born on May 6 1945.
De Nazi surrenderd on May 7 1945.
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It’s the morning after the honeymoon.
The wife says, ‘You know, you’re a really lousy lover.’
The husband replies, ‘How can you possible tell that after only 30 seconds.’
Yo mama so loose...when she walks down the street her pussy claps!
Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll.
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father.
"Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!"
"I did?
What did I tell you?" said the dad.
"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."
"What are you talking about?
That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said.
"there must be some mistake."
"I don't think so," she sniffed.
"They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher.
She asks the teacher for a glass of cider.
"Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks.
"To take away the pain," sobs the little girl.
"What do you mean?" the teacher asks.
"Well," sobs the little girl.
"I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ...
20 years old and mixed up with coke !
Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
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