Best jokes ever

The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple! She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?" If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart? Her ears flap.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, fart
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, friendship, mean
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faces the opposing lawyers. ‘Both of you have given me a bribe,’ he says. ‘You, Tom, gave me £15,000. And you, Harry, gave me £10,000.’ The judge reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cheque, and hands it to Tom. ‘I’m returning £5,000, and we’ll now decide this case solely on its merits.’
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Q:What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama? A:Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears and Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, dirty, masturbation, sex, vulgar
Why did the blonde go to KFC? She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde