Best jokes ever

Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays. Happy Chuckday everyone!
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Dogs may shed, but cats shred.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting. Bernie turns to Marv and says, "Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too." Marv smiles and says, "Well, we like to eat out too. So what was the name of this fine new eatery?" Bernie says, "You’re going to have to help me out here a little. What’s the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, often red, grows on a thorny bush?" Marv grins again, "Well now, Bernie, sounds like a rose to me…" "Yes, yes, that’s it!" cries Bernie, then he calls ahead to his wife: "Rose! Rose, honey, what was the name of that little restaurant we ate at last night?"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: age, couple, husband, old people
Chuck Norris is allowed to draw pictures of Mohammad.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, life
A 97 year old man goes in the insurance and says to the insurer: “Hello my son. I want to have a life insurance policy.” Perplexed by the old man, the insurer asks: “Sorry for the indiscretion, but why do you want to make life insurance?” “You know my son I will travel with my father in Europe.” Even more perplexed the insurer, asks: "Again, sorry, but how old is your father?” “127. ” “127? And what will you do in Europe?” He answers: “We will go to the wedding of my grandfather.” Even more shocked the insurer asks: “And how old is your grandfather?” “He is … Oh, 150.” And the insurer ready to hear everything now, asks: “Oh well, how come your grandfather wants to get married at this age?” “Bullshit, you know his parents are pressing him!”
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: old people
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house." The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that! What's the big deal about a two-story house?" The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is...**I have a headache** and the other story is **It's that time of the month!** "
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Justin Bieber has Chuck Norris fever!
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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