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Yo Mama is so nasty, she made the Dead Sea, when went to swim.
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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock.
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Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying. “Well,” says the old fellow, “I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves.” The policeman looks at the old man and says, “You shouldn’t be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!” So the old man says, “I know! I’m crying because I don’t remember where I live!”
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Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day. They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven. The angel said "Unfortunately, there’s only one space in Heaven today so I must decide which one of you will be admitted." The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven. Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they’re the most perfect breasts God ever created and I’m sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity." The Angel thanked Dolly, and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the same question. The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever and flushes it without saying a word. The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven." Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God’s own perfect creations and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?" "Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair – no matter how big they are."
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Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
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Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
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Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack.
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Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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Q: Why do horny women order at Subway? A: Footlongs.
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Yo mama so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she plays like this New York, Chicago, New Orleans, L.A.
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