Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference.
Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius."
Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!"
Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..."
Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."
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Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean.
The sharks headed for land.
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One day a black white and Asian got arrested but the cop said if u can say green pink and yellow in a sentence, then u won't go to jail.
The black didn't know what to say so he went to jail.
The white said "well white guys are pink....." but the cop said wrong order so he went to jail.
So the Asian guy said "well the phone go Green green so i pink up the phone and say yellow"
Snooki is so short and orange that she works part time as a traffic cone.
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat.
The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo.
The man agrees and drives off.
The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again.
He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo."
The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."
Inside a Best Buy store.
Customer: "Can you help me? I'm looking for a shredder."
Coworker: "We have all types of shredders. What will you be shredding primarily?"
Customer: "Collard greens."
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Yo mama so fat when she looks in the mirror the mirror said: "oh no get out the way."
Why can't girls play hockey?
Because their pads can't last three periods.
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
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