Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris doesnt' walk away from explosions, explosions walk away from Chuck Norris.
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has 56.17 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: What are three things you can't give a black person? A: A black eye, a fat lip and a job.
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has 56.17 % from 512 votes. More jokes about: black people, work
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?" "The correct word would be urinate." "Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?" Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"
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has 56.17 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, little Johnny, teacher
Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married. "Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back." Six months pass and Peter returns. "Yes, we can do this for you." The couple asks, "Well, as we have spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need to know that if things don't work out, is there a possibility that we can be divorced?" To which St. Peter answers, "It took me six months to find a priest up here how long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer?"
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has 56.16 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: car, death, heaven, marriage, wedding
I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning." "What is she doing?", the pal asks. "Waiting for me to get home."
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has 56.16 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time, wife
Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
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has 56.16 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Did you hear about the homosexual electron? Went around blowing fuses.
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has 56.15 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: gay, science
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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has 56.13 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
Q: What do you call a group of black people. A: An auction.
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has 56.11 % from 289 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the.......er......features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis..... AND a brain.
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has 56.09 % from 731 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, women
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