Chuck Norris made Journey stop beleiving.
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What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday?
He ate himself.
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The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.
Girl: "Why did the king go to the dentist?"
Boy: "I don't know, Why?"
Girl: "To get a new crown!"
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
Yo Mama's so fat, she makes Johana Hill look superbad at gaining weight.
You know who's mad at Kobe?
Every other player in the NBA.
You know why?
Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring.
Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum.
Cause you know how women are, man.
Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
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Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean.
The sharks headed for land.
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