Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.
Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float? A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Colorado Avalanche fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Avalanche fans too. Not really knowing what an Avalanche fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Avalanche fan," she retorts. "Then," asks her teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud Detroit Red Wings Fan," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the little girl why she is a Wings fan. "Well, my Dad and Mom are Wings fans, so I'm a Wings fan too," she responds. The teacher is now angry. "That’s no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" "Oh," says the little girl. "Well, then I'd be an Avalanche fan."
A midget is riding a bus when a blonde steps on him. “Hey you, brunette, watch where you're going,” yells the midget. The blonde looks down and says, “I am not a brunette, I am a blonde.” The midget replies, “Not from where I'm standing.”
What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates? A mobile sperm bank!
Q: Why did the blonde take more than one pregnancy test? A: Because she slept with more than one guy.
Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.
Mum,can i dress a bra? No. Why not.I am 14 years old! How many times I will say you "no", Michael...