Best jokes ever

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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has 56.30 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week? A: Turn on the spell checker.
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has 56.30 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: insulting, political, republican, stupid, work
What kind of food do maths teachers eat? Square meals!
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has 56.27 % from 348 votes. More jokes about: school
Why do so many gays have mustaches? To hide the stretch marks.
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has 56.26 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: gay
Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."
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has 56.26 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
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has 56.24 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, phone, school, teacher
Why do pill bottles have cotton buds in the top of them? To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.
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has 56.23 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I'll grant you three wishes, Master." The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you." The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this." The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. "What about your third wish?" asks the genie. "Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars." The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. "What's wrong?" asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, "Just because you believe in me, doesn't necessarily mean that I really exist."
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has 56.23 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: atheist, genie, money
Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework? A: A firequaker!
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has 56.23 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: bird, duck
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
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has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kitty
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