Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ?
A: Turkey.
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Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well?
A: Kill himself.
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about.
I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old.
We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes.
I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
They have traced the Gay Gene all the way back to the time of the Dinosaurs.
They found two distinct species.
They have named them Lickalotapus and Megasoreass.
Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball?
You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Q: Why do Jews have so big noses?
A: Because the air is free.