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Yo Mama's so fat, she makes Johana Hill look superbad at gaining weight.
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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
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Yo' Mama is like a campfire: everyone gets to stick their wiener in.
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Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.
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"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?" "No..." "Inheritance."
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If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called? Loch Jaws.
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Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
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What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
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There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days. "Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day." So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day. The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is your diet?" She said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."
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More jokes about: blonde