Best jokes ever

Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds? A. Half a spider!
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More jokes about: animal
Champions eat Wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats Champions for breakfast.
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More jokes about: alcohol, food
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
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More jokes about: insulting, men, republican, women
How is parsley like pubic hair? You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
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More jokes about: disgusting
Texan: "Where are you from?" Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions." Texan: "Okay — where are you from, jackass?"
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More jokes about: life
2 cannibals having dinner. 1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew." 2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
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More jokes about: men
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
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How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
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More jokes about: celebrity, Christmas, life, music
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, religious