Why does ET have such big eyes?
He saw the phone bill.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Yo mamma's so fat when she falls off a hill people call avalach.
My mother has painted a picture with such cold colours that if I want to take a look at it closely, I must have an anorak, the gloves, the winter cap and a scarf on, not to freeze.
Yo mama so fat and poor the only thing she could afford to eat was grease.
If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
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Q: What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer?
A: A hula hoop with a nail in it.
Q: How do you electrocute a blonde?
A: Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.
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Yo momma is so short she poses for trophies!
Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
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