Best jokes ever

Fishing in a frozen lake It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!"
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: fish, sport, time, winter
Husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Wife: Because I married the wrong man!
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has 54.14 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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has 54.14 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, cop, death, phone
"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?" "It's over!" "Over? Why, what happened?" "We got married..."
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage
When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
There are an older brother and a younger sister. The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom. The sister asks the brother if she could play with his dick and he says yeah. A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no. Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little pissed of he says yes. After a while, the parents hear a scream. They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, sex, time
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, IT, phone, technology
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids
Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? A: He thought he saw a job.
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: bible, christian, work
A young lad is sitting at the table doing his homework. Dad, he says, "What is the difference between 'potentially' & 'realistically'"? Father scratches his chin, inhales sharply and says,"That's a tough one; it's probably easier to demonstrate. Go & ask your mother if she would sleep with the milkman for 1 million quid; then ask your sister the same question" ... 2 minutes later, the lad is back. "Dad, they both said for 1 million quid...? Definitely!" Well son, says the old man, "There is your answer; potentially, we are sitting on 2 million quid; realistically, we are living with a pair of slags..!
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: age, marriage, work
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