Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put a cucumber in her panties and pulled out a pickle.
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit. We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly." "How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
Lady goes to her doc. "Doc, I have quite the problem. I can't control my gas. All day long I'm farting and farting. The only good news is they are the 'silent but deadly' type. The Doc pauses for a moment and replies, "first let's get you fitted for a hearing aid."
Two protons walk into the bar and run into each other. One of them falls down. "Are you OK?" asks the other. "I think so," says the proton. "You sure?" the other asks. "Yeah," says the proton..."I'm positive."
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
Why do polo bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place.
A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while." The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."