Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple! She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?" If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart? Her ears flap.
I have joy in my heart and a glass of wine in my hand. Coincidence?
My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
Chuck Norris CAN play on broken strings.