Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
Q:What not to say to the nice policeman?
A:I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
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Q: How do you know when an Asian robs your house?
A: Your technology has been upgraded, your homework is finished, but he's still trying to back out of your drive way.
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I threw a ball for my dog...
It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
Q: What is so ironic about Atheists?
A: They're always talking about God.
Bill Gates owes Chuck Norris money.
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Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
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A white guy goes into a bar and sees a black bartender.
He says, "yo, nigger, get me a beer!"
The bartender says, "that's very rude. How would you like it if I talked to you like that?"
The white guy says, "let's switch places and see!"
So they switch places.
The bartender says, " yo, cracka, get me a beer!"
The white guy says, "sorry, we don't serve niggers here!"