Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.
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Chuck Norris can fire Vince McMahon.
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Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
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The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace.
"For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
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Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
Toilets are like mothers-in-law:
the farther away the better.
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Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway?
He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death.
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What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather.
Kinky is using the whole chicken.
A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes.
When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?"
God responds, "You are what you are"
The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question.
One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes"
The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"