Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
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Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
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The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace.
"For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
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Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents.
I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
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Toilets are like mothers-in-law:
the farther away the better.
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Chuck gives the sun the chills.
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Every bone inside Chuck Norris is his funny bone, cause he laughs wherever you hit him.
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Chuck Norris can finish a Super Mario game with just one arrow key.
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A programmer went to the store to buy milk.
His partner said, "While you're there, buy eggs."
The programmer never returned.
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