Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.
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Chuck Norris can fire Vince McMahon.
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Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
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Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
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Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents.
I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
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Toilets are like mothers-in-law:
the farther away the better.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
Chuck Norris does not play computer games, he makes games play computer!
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