Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
Why are so many blondes rushing out to get breast implants? So they don't have to pay the flat tax.
Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She said, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby." With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked... "Then why did you eat him?"
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"