Yo' Mama is so dumb, if her brains were farts, there wouldn't be enough to stink.
Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
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Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
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What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.
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Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex?
A: freak.
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A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave."
The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir!
I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.
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If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch it hurts."
He asks "What do you mean?"
So she showed him what she meant.
She touched her knee and said "Ouch!" Then she touched her chest and said, "Ouch!" Then her shoulder, "Ouch!"
The doctor looks at her and asks, "Your really blonde, aren't you?"
She replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?"
Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken."