Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
Q: Who hangs out with musicians but isn't a musician? A: Drummers.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Yo' Mama is like a telephone book: available to the public, no charge.
Too stupid to understand science? Try religion!
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.