Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
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Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles?
A: Mr. XMass
Why are so many blondes rushing out to get breast implants?
So they don't have to pay the flat tax.
Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?
They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
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When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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Pavlov walks into a bar.
The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
A guy is going down on a prostitute.
During the process he pulls out a piece of corn.
Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues.
Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick."
The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
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