Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
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Q: Why is a girls pussy like an ocean?
A: It's really wet and has a Sperm Whale in it.
Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
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Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.
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Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
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Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100.
So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?."
The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.
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