Best jokes ever

What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
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More jokes about: animal, bird, health, parrot
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.
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England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
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Q: What's blue and doesn't fit? A: A dead epileptic.
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More jokes about: black humor, death
A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter. After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs." Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone." The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"
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More jokes about: bar, blonde, stupid
What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter.
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Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? A: They both wipe out klingons.
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More jokes about: life
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
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You mama so bugle one detection went the other derection.
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More jokes about: communication, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Why did the blonde have trouble in the ladies' room? A: She is not used to pulling her own pants down.
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More jokes about: blonde