Death once took Chuck Norris. He regreted it.
A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while." The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."
Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Yo' Mama is so dumb, she got fired from a blow job.
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.