These two drunks walk out of a bar and see a dog across the streets licking its own nuts. First guy says "Man, sure wish I could do that." Second says "I dunno, I think I'd pet him first."
Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day? After a week he was spotless.
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
Chuck Norris dropped an apple once, and gravity was born.
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.