Yo' Mama is so stupid, she invented a ventilated condom.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.
Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, "Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."
A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy.
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks.