Best jokes ever

Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?
Vote:
has 52.63 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, "Nein!, Nein" So two guys walk away.
Vote:
has 52.63 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, ethnic, sex, stupid
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Vote:
has 52.63 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.
Vote:
has 52.59 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: money, technology, Yo mama
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
Vote:
has 52.59 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: military
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
Vote:
has 52.59 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, husband, marriage, wife
Some strangers sit at the bar. One guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG." Another guy asks, "What's that?" The first guy says, "I am a Single, New Age Guy." Another guy says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK." A lady asks, "What's that?" He says, "Double Income, No Kids." The lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE." Larry asks, "A WIFE?" Gertrude says, "Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc."
Vote:
has 52.55 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My girlfriend likes to pretend to be a 14 year old when we have sex. I don't get it she will be 14 in a few years anyway.
Vote:
has 52.52 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
Vote:
has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office. At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
Vote:
has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, life, marriage, time
<<<832833834835
More jokes →
Page 832 of 1427.