Best jokes ever

One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house. When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him. He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him. When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys." So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her breast. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys." Then she took off everything and stood naked in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
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has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to “secure a building,” they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
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has 58.06 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: air force, death, military, money, navy
An young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. After sex the girl said, "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'am actually a hooker, and I charge $100 for what we just did." The man retorted, "And I should have mentioned this before, but I'am actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $200."
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has 58.06 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: money
As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home. Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions. Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama." Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!" Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!" Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!" Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol this is a job for Mama!"
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has 58.05 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: family, marriage, sex, wedding
Q: Two black guys decide to jump off a building; who lands first? A: Who cares?
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has 58.01 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: black people
How do you know when a Barbie has her period? All your tic tacks are gone.
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.
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has 58.00 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, music
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs? A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
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has 57.99 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: animal, racist
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
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has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: doctor, geek, internet, IT, technology
Q: What is the only thing you will ever hear being said to a Mexican wearing a 3pc suit? A: "Will the defendant please rise".
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has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: beauty, mexican, prison
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