Best jokes ever

Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
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has 56.31 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: death, math
How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day? Her tampon is behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil.
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has 56.31 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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has 56.30 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
Why are black people & vending machines the same? Because they both don't work & they both steal your money.
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has 56.27 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: black people, money, racist, work
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.
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has 56.26 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sport
Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school? Leonard: Why? Jacob: She had bright students!
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has 56.23 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: school
A dentist, an electrician, and a carpenter decide to play a practical joke their best friend on his wedding night. "I'll loosen some joints on his bed so it collapses when he's making love," says the carpenter. "I'll hot wire his mattress so they'll feel immense heat while making love," says the electrician. "Those are good ideas," says the dentist. "But my contribution's going to be a real surprise." The next day the new husband comes to the diner to meet his friends. He says "I congratulate you guys for making the bed heat up and collapse, but I'm gonna kill whichever one of you put novocaine in the massage oil!"
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has 56.23 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, wedding
An Australian Combat Field Engineer Sergeant and a U.S Marine were on exchange duty and were sharing the latrines. The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands. The U.S Marine watched in disgust, finished his squirt, washed his hands and walked up to the Aussie Sergeant and said. In the U.S Marine Corps we were taught to wash our hands after a leak”. The rather large Aussie Sergeant replied, ” In the Australian Army mate, we were taught not to piss on our hands …! ”
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has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: military
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
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has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, viagra, wife
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."
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has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
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