Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
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has 82.18 % from 227 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."
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has 82.17 % from 321 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, masturbation
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'" The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'" The third Catholic woman says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'" The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well…?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6’2, hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God…'"
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has 82.16 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: catholic, dirty, food, god, priest
Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
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has 82.16 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Blonde Logic January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter! March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets! June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms! August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down. September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it? October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the phone! What a year!
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has 82.16 % from 214 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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has 82.14 % from 547 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
"Hey, cabby! How much to take me to the station?" "Five bucks, sir." "And how much for my suitcase?" "No charge for the suitcase, sir." "Okay. Take the case and I’ll walk."
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has 82.13 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: money, travel
Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
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has 82.12 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, men, women
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
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has 82.12 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: life
Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object? Student: You are pretty. Teacher: What’s the direct object? Student: A good report card.
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has 82.11 % from 394 votes. More jokes about: school
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