Q: How do you find how many fat people are in America? A: Throw a cookie into the street.
Q: How is a boss better than a wife? A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
Write a message on an upside-down paper cup that alludes to something horrible being trapped under it. Leave it on a coworker's desk or in a conference room.
Find a sleeping person, fill their hand with shaving cream and then tickle their nose.
Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." He came fifth and received a toaster.
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
Q: How do you electrocute a blonde? A: Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.
Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK? A: He can claim Gift Relief.
Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear... Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear