Best jokes ever

Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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has 49.26 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, god, lawyer, teacher
In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long dicks. On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club. When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's penis length the guy said: "Mine is 10 inches long" The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing: "Here isn't a suitable place for you." The porter said, "Look at me I 've turned three time my dick around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby dick."
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has 49.26 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, vulgar
Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers? A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, life, terrorist
Amazing unbelievable facts 1. Isaac Newton was alive before he died 2. It takes 60 seconds to make a minute 3. Albert Einstein was born on his birthday 4. Morgan Freeman is called Morgan Freeman because his first name is Morgan and last name is Freeman
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Why did the Avon lady walk funny? A: Her lipstick.
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch? A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father..." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun..."
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: church, death, husband, marriage
Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris always wins at Jenga, the tower couldn't dare to crumble.
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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