Q: Why did two women walk into a saloon pointing bananas at people and shouting: "GIVE US YER LOOT!"
A: They were both blonds.
I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day.
Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning.
Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.
Vote:
Yo mama's so stupid she studied for blood test and failed.
Yo Mama is so fat and ugly she and Godzilla are twins.
Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo?
A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
Vote:
The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
Vote:
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
Vote:
What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.
Vote:
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?"
The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.