Yo Mama is so fat and ugly she and Godzilla are twins.
Q: Why did two women walk into a saloon pointing bananas at people and shouting: "GIVE US YER LOOT!"
A: They were both blonds.
What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.
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Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork?
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo?
A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?"
The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy.
A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks.
He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"