A man and wife were making love.
When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away.
Mom said "You better fix this now."
The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma.
The dad screamed "What the fuck."
The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today?
A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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Q. Why don't little girls fart?
A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean?
*Pulls his head to her thigh*
Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times.
The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
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Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer?
A: "You have a hole in one."
What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down the hill?
A mudslide.
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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