Q. Why don't little girls fart?
A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean?
*Pulls his head to her thigh*
Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times.
The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
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Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer?
A: "You have a hole in one."
Three guys are on a plane, ones black, ones white, and ones Mexican.
The pilot says: "there's to much weight you all need to throw something off the plane."
The black guy throws his Jordan's and says: "we have to many of these in our country"
The Mexican throws off his lawn mower and says: "we have to many of these in our country".
The white guys throws the Mexican and says: "we have to many of these in our country"
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Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.
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