Q. Why don't little girls fart?
A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean?
*Pulls his head to her thigh*
Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
Q: What did the dentist say to the golfer?
A: "You have a hole in one."
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times.
The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
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Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork?
Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo?
A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day.
Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning.
Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.
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