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Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
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A lawyer buys a farm as a weekend retreat. While walking round his new property he looks down and sees that his feet are in the middle of a huge cowpat. The lawyer starts yelling, ‘Oh my God! Help me, help me!’ His wife runs up and asks what’s the matter. The lawyer points to his feet and screams, ‘I’m melting! I’m melting…!’
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
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Yo' Mama is so dumb, if her brains were farts, there wouldn't be enough to stink.
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Chuck Norris made an armless man tap out.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
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More jokes about: doctor, food, men, time
Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac? A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.
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More jokes about: black humor


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