If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
Vote:
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
Vote:
Why did God give women legs?
So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
Vote:
The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
Vote:
After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
Vote:
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital.
After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead.
The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it.
"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
Vote:
If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
Vote: