A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder? He had a bee in his suit of armour! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!
A nigger was walking in the jungle when he saw a sexy woman that was fighting for her life with a giant snake. The Nigger quickly jumps and kills the snake. The woman says to him: You saved me! I am I magic fairy and I can grand you any wish. I would like you to make me white and put me between your legs. Then, the fairy made him into cotton wall tampon...
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
What happened when the chef got his hand caught in the dishwasher? They both got fired.
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
Q: What do you call vietnamese guy that wants to be black? A: Vinegar!
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.