Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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Whats the only thing darker than a black man?
His Future.
The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
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A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
With him inside it.
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Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
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When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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Why did God give women legs?
So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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