When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible?
A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn.
He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat.
He could only take one across at a time.
He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn.
How did he get them all safely over the stream?
He took the goose over first and came back.
Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back.
Next he took the corn over.
He came back alone and took the goose.
Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex?
A:Honey I'm home.
A Jewish boy asked his father "Father, can you lend me 50 dollars?"
The father replied, "40 dollars, What do you need 30 dollars for?"
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
White owl: who who.
Black owl: who dat who dat.