When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
Yo mama so fat that when god said let there be light. When god saw her he said let there be darkness.
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible? A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
A Jewish boy asked his father "Father, can you lend me 50 dollars?" The father replied, "40 dollars, What do you need 30 dollars for?"
Q: What do u call an Asian grocery store? A: A pound
Q: Why cant stevie wonder read? A: Cuz hes black