A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital.
After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead.
The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it.
"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
Yo mama's so overweight she kills thousands just by sitting down.
If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
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Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
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If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
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Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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