The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.
How do you confuse a blonde? You don’t, they’re born that way!
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
A group of blondes was going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day, I am going to dial 911 and call the cops!"
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
A wife to her husband: "Honey, what are you doing?" "I'm reading our marriage certificate." "What for?" "I'm looking for the expiry date..."
Yo momma's so stupid when her son said break a leg, she really did.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she not only got hit with the ugly stick, she must have got lost in an ugly forest.