The best accountant jokes

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
Vote: has 73.44 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, math
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, math, work
Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, life, money, tax
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, money, office, time, work
An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels. He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldn't prove it. He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin. Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load. On every occasion, there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip. On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath. Nothing. He could never find anything amiss. After a few months of this, the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned. A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On an impulse, the auditor went up to him and said, "Look, I've left the company, I'm not interested in taking it any further and I won't stop you, but I just have to know. What were you taking?" And the bloke said "Tarpaulins."
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, communication, mean, time, work
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, work
How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, money, tax
Q: What's an actuary? A: An accountant without the sense of humor.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax
An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, doctor, geography, mean