"The auditors have just left, sir."
"Did they check the books?"
"Very thoroughly."
"What did they say?"
"They want 15% to keep quiet."
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Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant?
She charges an arm and a leg.
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A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint.
"Give me all your money", he says.
The muggee isindignant.
"You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent."
"In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
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Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft?
A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
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Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
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Four Laws of Accounting:
1. Trial balances don't.
2. Bank reconciliations never do.
3. Working capital does not.
4. Return on investments never will.
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What does CPA stand for?
Can't Pass Again.
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