The best accountant jokes

The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: accountant, management, money
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math
A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint. "Give me all your money", he says. The muggee isindignant. "You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent." "In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. "Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." "Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometers, say a Mercedes convertible." The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. "Wow. Are you kidding?" "Yeah. But you started it."
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has 73.22 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: accountant, graduation, mean, money, work
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
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has 71.85 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life
What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: accountant
An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: accountant, doctor, geography, mean
Q: When do accountants laugh out loud? A: When somebody asks for a raise.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: accountant, lawyer
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, time, work