The best accountant jokes

Q: What's an actuary? A: An accountant without the sense of humor.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don’t know what you are talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn’t know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!" The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well... what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says…go to hell... that you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger."
Vote: has 77.47 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, lawyer, money
An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, doctor, geography, mean
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, work
Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement? A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant? A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, communication, tax
Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, math, nerd