The best accountant jokes

An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels. He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldn't prove it. He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin. Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load. On every occasion, there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip. On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath. Nothing. He could never find anything amiss. After a few months of this, the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned. A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On an impulse, the auditor went up to him and said, "Look, I've left the company, I'm not interested in taking it any further and I won't stop you, but I just have to know. What were you taking?" And the bloke said "Tarpaulins."
Vote:
has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, communication, mean, time, work
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
Vote:
has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: accountant, work
"The auditors have just left, sir." "Did they check the books?" "Very thoroughly." "What did they say?" "They want 15% to keep quiet."
Vote:
has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, money
Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement? A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
Vote:
has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, beauty, tax
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
Vote:
has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
Vote:
has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, management, money
A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint. "Give me all your money", he says. The muggee isindignant. "You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent." "In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
Vote:
has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
Vote:
has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
Vote:
has 71.85 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life
Q: How do you know you've got a good tax accountant? A: He's had a loophole named after him.
Vote:
has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax