The best accountant jokes

Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? A: Lost.
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has 75.00 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: accountant, IT, technology, work
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: accountant, work
"The auditors have just left, sir." "Did they check the books?" "Very thoroughly." "What did they say?" "They want 15% to keep quiet."
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, money
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement? A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, beauty, tax
An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels. He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldn't prove it. He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin. Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load. On every occasion, there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip. On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath. Nothing. He could never find anything amiss. After a few months of this, the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned. A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On an impulse, the auditor went up to him and said, "Look, I've left the company, I'm not interested in taking it any further and I won't stop you, but I just have to know. What were you taking?" And the bloke said "Tarpaulins."
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, communication, mean, time, work
There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, management, money