The best accountant jokes

The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. "Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." "Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometers, say a Mercedes convertible." The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. "Wow. Are you kidding?" "Yeah. But you started it."
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has 73.64 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: accountant, graduation, mean, money, work
A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner. "Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."
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has 73.31 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, graduation, money, work
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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has 72.34 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
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has 71.85 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, time, work
What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: accountant
An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: accountant, doctor, geography, mean
"The auditors have just left, sir." "Did they check the books?" "Very thoroughly." "What did they say?" "They want 15% to keep quiet."
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, money
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: accountant, lawyer
Q: When do accountants laugh out loud? A: When somebody asks for a raise.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work