The best accountant jokes

Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."
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has 79.35 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: accountant, wife, work
Q: Why do economists exist? A: So accountants have someone to laugh at.
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has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint. "Give me all your money", he says. The muggee isindignant. "You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent." "In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
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has 76.89 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don’t know what you are talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn’t know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!" The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well... what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says…go to hell... that you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger."
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has 76.83 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: accountant, lawyer, money
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
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has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life
An accountant and a lawyer were laying on a beach in Hawaii sipping mai tai's. The lawyer started telling the accountant how he came to be there. "I had this downtown property in Memphis that caught fire and after the insurance paid off, I came here." The accountant said, "I had a downtown property, too, in Miami. It got flooded so here I am with the insurance proceeds." The lawyer took another sip of his mai tai, and then asked in a puzzled voice, "How do you start a flood?"
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has 76.26 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: accountant, geography, lawyer
The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."
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has 75.27 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, management, money
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. "Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." "Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometers, say a Mercedes convertible." The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. "Wow. Are you kidding?" "Yeah. But you started it."
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has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: accountant, graduation, mean, money, work
Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, management, money
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math