The best accountant jokes

Q: What's an actuary? A: An accountant without the sense of humor.
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has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: accountant
Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: accountant, wife, work
An accountant and a lawyer were laying on a beach in Hawaii sipping mai tai's. The lawyer started telling the accountant how he came to be there. "I had this downtown property in Memphis that caught fire and after the insurance paid off, I came here." The accountant said, "I had a downtown property, too, in Miami. It got flooded so here I am with the insurance proceeds." The lawyer took another sip of his mai tai, and then asked in a puzzled voice, "How do you start a flood?"
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has 75.57 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: accountant, geography, lawyer
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
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has 75.27 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, work
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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has 75.25 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. "Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." "Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometers, say a Mercedes convertible." The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. "Wow. Are you kidding?" "Yeah. But you started it."
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has 74.78 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: accountant, graduation, mean, money, work
Q: Why do economists exist? A: So accountants have someone to laugh at.
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax
A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner. "Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, graduation, money, work
Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, management, money