The best accountant jokes

An accountant is walking along the beach (also, not the joke) and he finds an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it and of course, a genie appears. The genie says "I am the most powerful genie that has ever lived. I can do great and wonderful things and I can grant you your dearest wish. But only one." Well, this accountant is a deeply caring individual. He pulls out a map of the Mediterranean area and says, "My dearest wish is that you solve the Arab-Israeli conflict in the Middle East." The genie strokes his beard and looks worried. "Oh dear, " he says , staring at the map. "That's a tough one. Those people have been fighting for eons. No one has been able to come up with a successful solution. I'm not sure if I could do any better. You should probably make another wish." The accountant is understanding and says, "All right. Listen, the IRS has asked me to re-design their 1040 form so that everyone can understand it. Can you help me with that?" There's a long silence and finally the genie says, "Let's have another look at that map."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: accountant, genie, war, work
Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: accountant, work
A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant. The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions. "Was he tall or was he short?" The businessman replies, "Both!"
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, communication
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
Q: Who was the first accountant? A: Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, Santa
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, time, work
Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, nerd
An old man was accounting manager in a company. Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back. After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died. After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, funeral, old people, time, work
Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant? A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: accountant, communication, tax
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