The best accountant jokes

Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: accountant, light bulb, math, work
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: accountant, doctor, geography, mean
Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life, money, tax
Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: accountant, work
Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? A: Lost.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: accountant, IT, technology, work
Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were eager to know how it had ended so quickly. The general told them, "We had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was made entirely of lawyers and accountants. When the time came to charge - boy, did they know how to charge!"
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: accountant, college, ethnic, money, war
An old man was accounting manager in a company. Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back. After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died. After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: accountant, funeral, old people, time, work
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, office, time, work
Q: Who was the first accountant? A: Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
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