The best accountant jokes

Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, tax, work
Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: accountant, work
A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant. The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions. "Was he tall or was he short?" The businessman replies, "Both!"
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, communication
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, office, time, work
There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, Santa
Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant? A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, communication, tax
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, time, work
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." The man blacked out with the machine's ability. So, he decided to trick the machine. He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine. "But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine. He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab. Then, he did the same routine. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot. -You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you.. lost the train!
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, travel
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