The best accountant jokes

Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, work
How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax
An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: accountant, doctor, geography, mean
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: accountant, light bulb, math, work
Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant? A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, old people, work
Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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has 63.67 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, nerd
What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." The man blacked out with the machine's ability. So, he decided to trick the machine. He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine. "But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine. He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab. Then, he did the same routine. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot. -You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you.. lost the train!
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, travel
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, office, time, work
Q: Who was the first accountant? A: Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
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