The best accountant jokes

An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement? A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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