The best accountant jokes

Q: What's an actuary? A: An accountant without the sense of humor.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
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Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
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An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement? A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, management, money
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." The man blacked out with the machine's ability. So, he decided to trick the machine. He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine. "But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine. He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab. Then, he did the same routine. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot. -You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you.. lost the train!
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, money, travel
Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant? A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant? A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, money, old people, work
Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, tax, work


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