The best accountant jokes

Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: accountant, lawyer
What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: accountant
Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of answer did you have in mind? A: None - just assume it's changed.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: accountant, light bulb, work
An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, doctor, geography, mean
Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, prison, tax
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." The man blacked out with the machine's ability. So, he decided to trick the machine. He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine. "But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine. He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab. Then, he did the same routine. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot. -You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you.. lost the train!
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, travel
A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, "I'm a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We're here to destroy your civilization, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?" The owner replies, "I don't have an opinion. I'm a chartered accountant."
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: accountant, death, travel
Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life, money, tax
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, tax, work
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