The best accountant jokes

Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement? A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, management, money
Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of answer did you have in mind? A: None - just assume it's changed.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
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Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
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Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, prison, tax
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." The man blacked out with the machine's ability. So, he decided to trick the machine. He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine. "But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine. He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab. Then, he did the same routine. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot. -You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you.. lost the train!
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, money, travel
What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant? A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, communication, tax
Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant? A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, money, old people, work


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