The best accountant jokes

Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? A: Invite an accountant.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
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An old man was accounting manager in a company. Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back. After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died. After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, funeral, old people, time, work
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job? A: Bob.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, money, work
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, geography, money, Santa, tax
Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were eager to know how it had ended so quickly. The general told them, "We had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was made entirely of lawyers and accountants. When the time came to charge - boy, did they know how to charge!"
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, time
It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, time
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, age, husband, kids, wife