Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were eager to know how it had ended so quickly.
The general told them, "We had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was made entirely of lawyers and accountants. When the time came to charge - boy, did they know how to charge!"
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh?
Net Present Value.
Vote:
Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
A: Lost.
Vote:
An old man was accounting manager in a company.
Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back.
After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died.
After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
Vote:
Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement?
A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
Vote:
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA?
A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
A: Invite an accountant.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance?
A: A late night.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job?
A: Bob.
Vote:
A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.
The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions.
"Was he tall or was he short?"
The businessman replies, "Both!"
Vote: