Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job? A: Bob.
Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?