The best alcohol jokes

Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea? He drowned in his teepee!
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has 21.90 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, disgusting
Q: Why doesn't Simon Cowell drink whiskey? A: Because it makes him mean!
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has 21.85 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
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has 20.91 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drug, life, music
A bloke walks into a pub and sees Van Gogh standing at the bar. ‘Hi Van, can I get you a drink?’ ‘No, thanks, I got one ear.’
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has 20.85 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin.
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has 20.26 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?" The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking. "You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have." The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have, pal?" The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
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has 19.53 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food
Q: How many men does it take to open a Budweiser bottle? A: none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as quickly as he can. The bartender asks, "my goodness, why are you drinking so fast?' The guy replies, "You would be drinking just as fast if you had what I have." The bartender looks at him curiously and says, "What do you have?" The guy responds, "Only one Dollar."
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, money
Q: What do you call 24 sorority girls walking down the street? A: A case of Schlitz.
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
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