Yo mama's so fat, when she farted pluto's ice caps melted.
Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea? He drowned in his teepee!
Q: Why doesn't Simon Cowell drink whiskey? A: Because it makes him mean!
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
A bloke walks into a pub and sees Van Gogh standing at the bar. ‘Hi Van, can I get you a drink?’ ‘No, thanks, I got one ear.’
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin.
Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Q: How many men does it take to open a Budweiser bottle? A: none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as quickly as he can. The bartender asks, "my goodness, why are you drinking so fast?' The guy replies, "You would be drinking just as fast if you had what I have." The bartender looks at him curiously and says, "What do you have?" The guy responds, "Only one Dollar."
Q: What do you call 24 sorority girls walking down the street? A: A case of Schlitz.