A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He’s still wriggling. What should I do?" "In the back of your truck there’s a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush." "So what’s the problem now?" his Boss snapped. "The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"
What is a cow's favourite TV show? Dr Moo.
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk. But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
What do you call a tired cow? Milked out.
What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force.
What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda? A berry bubbly bunny.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?" "Yes" "What are you doing at the movies?" "Well, I liked the book!"
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.