A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog.
He watched the game in astonishment for a while.
“I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”
“Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."
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What did the cow wear to the football game?
A Jersey.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him.
He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?"
The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo."
"Oh my, which way is it heading?"
"Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Vote:
Dogs believe they are human.
Cats believe they are God.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles.
Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
Vote:
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?
A harenet.
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.