A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."
Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day? A: I'm bakin'.
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger? The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!
What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.