A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.
Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You're boring me.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
When does a female deer need money? When she doesnt have a buck.
A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest. The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!" " The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!" The old geezer says... (We're waiting...)
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow? A: Moo.
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house. Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler. 'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.