A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He’s still wriggling. What should I do?" "In the back of your truck there’s a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush." "So what’s the problem now?" his Boss snapped. "The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal.
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.
What is a cow's favourite TV show? Dr Moo.
What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher? Ground round.
What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer.
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk. But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
What do you call a tired cow? Milked out.
What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force.
What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.