The best animal jokes

"Name?" "Abdul Aziz." "Sex?" "Three to five times a day." "No, no... I mean male or female?" "Yes, male, female, sometimes camel." "Holy cow!" "Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general." "But isn't that hostile?" "Horse style, doggy style, any style!" "Oh dear!" "No, no! Deer run too fast..."
Vote: has 78.76 % from 989 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, sex
A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is grateful, thanks the man, and tells him that he will grant him a wish. Man says: please make my dog win the next dog race. Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog has only got three legs and tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfill his wish and asks that the man will tell him another wish. The man says: "Well, then please help that my wife will win the next beauty contest in the area." Frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car. Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog. The frog turns to the man and says: "Could I please have another look at the dog?"
Vote: has 78.55 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
Vote: has 78.55 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?" The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, health
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Vote: has 78.47 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
Vote: has 78.47 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car, wife
A farmer and a son live on a farm. The farmer is sitting in the kitchen when his son comes in from the barn with a large glass of white liquid. He is so excited because he's just milked a cow. Then he takes a big drink from the glass. His father just stares at him. "Son, we don't have a cow. We have a bull."
Vote: has 78.38 % from 165 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting
At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?” Most of the hands go up. “And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?” About half the hands stay up. “Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with a ghost?” Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd. “Gosh, that’s pretty good. Okay, have any of you ever, uh…, been *intimate* with a ghost?” One hand stays up. The speaker blinks. “Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had *sexual* contact with a ghost?” The fellow suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,… I thought you said goat!”
Vote: has 78.35 % from 133 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
Vote: has 78.22 % from 148 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, computer


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