When should you feel sorry for a skunk? When its spray pump is out of order!.
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent.
Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark.
What is a buttress? A female goat.
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull? The white bull does: “Mooo”. The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.