The best animal jokes

What is a buttress? A female goat.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, women
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food, husband, marriage, wife
Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, flirt, sex
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, god, marriage, wife, work
How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, war
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Vote: has 49.12 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull? The white bull does: “Mooo”. The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
Vote: has 48.78 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, racist
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, life
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, bar, women
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, celebrity, love


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