The best animal jokes

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.” The second blonde said, “No those are elk tracks.” The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.” The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. Emma: So, what kind of tracks were they?
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, love
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service
What does an octopus take on a camping trip? Tentacles.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
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has 48.65 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, military, women
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow. A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
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