Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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A lady goes into a bar with her goose.
Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?"
Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose."
And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog.
After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man.
However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner.
The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction.
He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him.
The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash.
He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck.
By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated.
As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf.
She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him.
The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
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The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says:
Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
Why did the whale like the diver?
Because he had flippers.