What is a buttress? A female goat.
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull? The white bull does: “Mooo”. The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
What does an octopus take on a camping trip? Tentacles.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food? A:Because they can't catch it!