Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?
They re always switching their tails.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
What's red and green and goes at 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elkaseltzer.
A lady goes into a bar with her goose.
Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?"
Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose."
And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day.
One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby?
One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies.
Rape
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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