The best animal jokes

A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, marriage, wife, work
How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, war
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing. They father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other. The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg. The father says that they're both daddy long legs. The son stomps on them, killing them. The father asks why he did that. The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, sex, vulgar
One day a teacher asked the class, "What is the difference between a bird and a fly?" A student then replied, "A bird can fly but a fly cannot bird."
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has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, student, teacher, white people
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.” The second blonde said, “No those are elk tracks.” The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.” The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. Emma: So, what kind of tracks were they?
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, love
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service
What does an octopus take on a camping trip? Tentacles.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
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has 48.65 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
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