What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers.
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"? Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' Teacher: No, that's wrong Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!
Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.