Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
Vote:
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
Why did the whale like the diver?
Because he had flippers.
Why did the gray whale go on a diet?
Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side…
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
"Does your dog bite?"
"No."
(Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him)
"Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
"That is not my dog."