The best animal jokes

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
Vote: has 47.46 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, elephant, marriage
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, lawyer
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black humor, food
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire? A bunny with money.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, money
Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back? They re always switching their tails.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Vote: has 47.29 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
Vote: has 47.24 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, military, women


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