Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
To the calf-ateria.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire?
A bunny with money.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
Vote:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side…
Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?
They re always switching their tails.
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
A: Because he's an egghead.
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink.
His friends plead with him to let them take him home.
He says no -- he only lives a mile away.
About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line.
Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area.
The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery.
The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home.
When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.
A few hours later the police knock on the door.
They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes.
They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day.
The police have his driver's license.
They ask to see his car and she asks why.
They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?
A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed.
After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains.
He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there.
"Who the hell are you?" he yells.
The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector."
"Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?"
He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"