The best animal jokes

The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
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Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!
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Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
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What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes.
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What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home? A search warren.
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When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage.
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Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
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A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
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Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.
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Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
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More jokes about: animal