The best animal jokes

Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"? Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' Teacher: No, that's wrong Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, school, teacher
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, dog
Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his little mind.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg." Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, mechanic, work
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, women
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse
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