Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock.
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
Why did the gray whale go on a diet?
Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side…
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
Q: What is red and black?
A: A sunburnt zebra.