The best animal jokes

Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence. Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?" Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish." Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?" Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
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has 46.07 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, lesbian
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg. As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, science
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, love
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