First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
Did you hear about the man with five keen senses?
He still lacked common and horse!
Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?
They re always switching their tails.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elkaseltzer.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it.
A lady goes into a bar with her goose.
Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?"
Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose."
And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.