Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours? A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.
You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!