Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
How far can a rabbit run into the woods? Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.
Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
‘Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his little mind.
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school? A: Hissssstory.