Joke #8059

I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his little mind.

Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."

So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it. So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.

What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.

What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.

What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.

Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?  She thought children should be seen and not herded!