Joke #8059

I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his little mind.
Vote:
has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A Koala and a Prostitiute had just finished having sex, so the Prostitute said, " All right, now give me my money!" The Koala replied, " Money, what for?" " What for?", the Prostitute growled, "Look up Prostitute in the dictionary and read what it says." So the Koala looked up prostitute in the dictionary. It said, "Prostitute- A woman who is paid to have sex." " Okay," said the Koala, " now you look up Koala in the dictionary, and read what it says." So the Prostitute looked up Koala in the dictionary. It said, "Koala- A furry animal who eats bush, then leaves."
Vote:
has 72.42 % from 288 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, sex
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
Vote:
has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, science
It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream. Three hours go by before the penguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the garage. With ice cream all over his face and his stomach he says, "So, how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, no, no, I was just eating ice cream."
Vote:
has 73.20 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, disgusting, mechanic, time
What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper? Warren.
Vote:
has 35.73 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Vote:
has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, husband, marriage, wife
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
Vote:
has 59.68 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, business, ginger, god
What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a.
Vote:
has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
Vote:
has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, military, women
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
Vote:
has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, sport
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
Vote:
has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, school