Joke #8059

I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his little mind.
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What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
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Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
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During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
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What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.
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Question: Why does Tigger smell? Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!
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What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night.
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What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers.
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Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
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That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
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Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers.
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