I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard.
I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg.
That'll blow his little mind.
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A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"
"No, of course not.
Now shut up and comb your face."
What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other?
Isaiah.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Vote:
Little lad is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say.
His Mum says "What does a duck say Tommy?"
He says"Quack quack Mummy."
His Mum says "Very good Tommy,that's right."
She says "What does a dog say?"
He says "Woof woof Mummy."
She says "Very good."
She says "What does a cat say?"
He says "Meow meow Mummy."
She says "Yes that's right."
Tommy says "Let Daddy have a go."
His dad says "Ok Tommy,what does a cow say?"
The little lad looks confused and his Dad says "Come on Tommy you know what a cow says."
Tommy says "Yes I do but do you mean a cow that eats grass and gives us our milk, or the one you where talking to Uncle John about, that said you could'nt go to the Stag show with him?"
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree.
After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.
After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
“Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?
A harenet.