Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
To the calf-ateria.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire?
A bunny with money.
What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear .
How do snails get their shells all shiny?
They use snail polish.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys."
Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch.
"That was amazing," exclaimed the coach.
"I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?"
"Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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