The best animal jokes

Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg." Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, life
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
Vote: has 48.02 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, military
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, elephant, marriage
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
Vote: has 47.62 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Vote: has 47.48 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, war
Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back? They re always switching their tails.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Vote: has 47.21 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, husband, marriage, wife
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull? The white bull does: “Mooo”. The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
Vote: has 46.76 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, racist
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, family, food, kids