Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
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The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Where do Danish cows come from?
Cowpenhagenf.
What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon?
A hare dare.