Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies?
A: A rotisserie chicken.
Q: What did the apple say to the worm?
A: You're boring me.
Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg."
Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve.
A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?"
Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it.
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?
A. Because he was pissed off!
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his.
At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says:
There were 24 pigs gentlemen!
Twice as much than you!