The best animal jokes

A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, genie, ginger
What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, women
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse
A cow and a horse were galloping around a curve opposite to. They landed in each other. Who was wrong? The cow, it didn't blow its horn.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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has 47.48 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, redneck
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing. They father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other. The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg. The father says that they're both daddy long legs. The son stomps on them, killing them. The father asks why he did that. The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
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has 47.48 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, sex, vulgar
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, husband, marriage, wife
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
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