A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground.
The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at.
The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing.
They father replies that the two spiders are having sex.
It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other.
The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg.
The father says that they're both daddy long legs.
The son stomps on them, killing them.
The father asks why he did that.
The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?
A. Because he was pissed off!
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his.
At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says:
There were 24 pigs gentlemen!
Twice as much than you!
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?
"Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing.
I told you he was a bum steer.