The best animal jokes

You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, celebrity
Q. What do frogs do with paper? A. Rip-it!
Vote: has 45.52 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
Vote: has 45.52 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
Vote: has 45.29 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, celebrity, divorce, marriage
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage.
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog
A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog. After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man. However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner. The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction. He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him. The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash. He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck. By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated. As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf. She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him. The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, desert island, dog, time
What is a nigger? Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
Vote: has 44.58 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people