Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!
Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his little mind.
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.
Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You're boring me.