The best animal jokes

Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
Vote: has 33.76 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car
It was a hot summer night. Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple... I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
Vote: has 33.37 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
Vote: has 33.37 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
Vote: has 33.22 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, animal, old people
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Vote: has 33.11 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
Vote: has 33.10 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, women
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger? The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
Vote: has 32.77 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck'
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk. The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!" The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, drunk