Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves.
They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother.
"Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills."
"I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her."
"I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to."
A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons.
"Gerald - the house you bought was too big.
I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house.
Milton - the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old.
But Robert - you know exactly what I like.
The chicken was delicious."
When is the best time to fake an orgasm?
When a rottweiler is humping your leg.
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?
Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
Vote:
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her?
A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.
Animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute
chicken goes cockadoodle do
prostute goes any cock will do.
Vote:
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways?
"Dead."
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch?
(Because he was stuffed!)
A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message.
‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’
The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words.
You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’
‘No thanks,’ says the dog.