The best animal jokes

How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed? You can smell the carrots on his breath.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
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has 36.78 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, fart, women
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, Chuck Norris, war
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
It was a hot summer night. Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple... I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
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has 36.46 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.
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has 36.46 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, marriage, wife
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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has 36.10 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, hunting
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