Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her?
A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth.
Question:
What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth?
Answer:
A full bus of old men.
Vote:
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
A: To keep its nuts dry
A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out.
A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!!
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?
They re both brown, except the snowball.
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad?
A: Dady issues!