What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.
Animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute
chicken goes cockadoodle do
prostute goes any cock will do.
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch?
(Because he was stuffed!)
A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message.
‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’
The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words.
You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’
‘No thanks,’ says the dog.
My tomcat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered.
Now he still stays out all night – it turns out he likes to watch!
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.
What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
Spot.
Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them:
If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.