A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk. The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!" The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
Q: What do you call a black and white thing rolling down a hill A: A maori and a segull fighting over a fishhead.
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one What a HippoCrip.
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger? The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses? A: Because they have big fingers!
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up.