A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
Q:Why did the cow cross the road? A:To go to the moo-vies.
What is a frogs favorite time? Leap Year!
Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!
What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!