The best animal jokes

What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is a zebra? A: A horse behind bars.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse
Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
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has 33.22 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, old people
A guy goes into an antique shop. He's browsing around the shop and comes across a brass rat. He picks up the rat and is looking at it when the shop owner approaches him. He asks the owner how much the Brass Rat is. The shop owner says $20 For the rat and $10 for the story behind it. The customers say I don't need to know the story but I'll buy the rat. So he pays for the rat and leaves the shop. After about 50 yards he hears a Wierd noise behind him and so looks around. There's a bunch of rats following him so he picks up the pace a walks faster but the noise gets louder. He glances behind and there are hundreds of rats following him so he starts to run. Still, the noise gets louder and there are thousands of rats chasing him. He comes to a bridge over the river and thinks the rats are chasing him because of the Brass Rat, he has so he throws the rat as far as he can into the river. All the rats that were chasing him then all jump into the river and drown. The guy thinks for a while and then walks back to the shop. As he enters the shop the owner who saw him coming said I bet you came back for the story behind the Brass Rat did you? The customer says no I didn't. Have you got a brass Nigger?
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has 32.95 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, business, customer service, money, racist
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, cop, women
What is a frogs favorite time? Leap Year!
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, geography
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, nurse
Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, heaven
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