Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah. ‘Hello,’ I thought. ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
Two rabbits are in a garden and one of the rabbits says, "Thith carrot tathes pithy." The other rabbit says, "Yes, I know, I just pithed on it."
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
Q:Why did the cow cross the road? A:To go to the moo-vies.
What do ducks wear to party's? A duck-sedo!
What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.