The best animal jokes

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
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It was a hot summer night. Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple... I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
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What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
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Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day? A: I'm bakin'.
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Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
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A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
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Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
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What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
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Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
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