One day little Bill was playing in the sand out of the sun underneath his front steps. Soon his mother walked up the steps without underwear due to the heat of the day and little Bill looked up and yelled out, ''Mother, what's that black thing that you're carrying under your dress?'' ''Don't worry, Bill, it's just a squirrel,'' she said. So little Bill kept on playing, and soon his grandmother came along, also without underwear, and little Bill looked up and said, ''Grammie what is that hairy animal under your dress?'' ''Ah, it's a squirrel,'' she answered. So little Bill asked his grandmother, ''Why is it that your squirrel is grey intead of black?'' The grandmother replied, ''If your mother's squirrel had popped the nuts that this one has popped, it would be gray too.''
Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah. ‘Hello,’ I thought. ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
Two rabbits are in a garden and one of the rabbits says, "Thith carrot tathes pithy." The other rabbit says, "Yes, I know, I just pithed on it."
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
What is a frogs favorite time? Leap Year!
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.