Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute chicken goes cockadoodle do prostute goes any cock will do.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? (Because he was stuffed!)
A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message. ‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’ The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words. You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’ ‘No thanks,’ says the dog.
My tomcat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered. Now he still stays out all night – it turns out he likes to watch!
What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Spot.
Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them: If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.
Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence. Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?" Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish." Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?" Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"